October 23, 2009 - everything still ended

so yeah, when I got home
we texted then we ended it
actually I did, because he said
He didn't wanna hurt me anymore
so I said, okay , then let me go.
then he did.

I dont know if it was the right thing to do
because I still love him...
no matter how many times he has done me wrong
and no matter how many time he had hurt me
and even if he broke and mended my heart as a hobby

im still confused
its like nothing changed between us

and that he never wanted to end what we have
it was I who ended it

so I felt a little guilty but heck, everything happened already..

lets just go with the flow

October 23, 2009 -- everything was supposed to end

nothing happened though, after my bible study
we met , we stood there, no words, no nothing.
I walked out on everyone, my friends, him..
because I couldn't end it

I couldn't do it, I couldn't say 'its over'
maybe I was just too scared to say
and my mind is still not at ease

Its like I wanted so badly to help him get over his 1st love
that part of me wanted me to stay with him
but the other part said 'you already tried, but you didnt succeed, its time to give up'

underneath the shattered pieces of my broken heart,
there still lies a piece saying -im still whole, love him before I break too-

I dont know what to do ...
What should I do?

He told almost everyone about this date,
everything was gonna end today, but unfortunately
for him(I guess)nothing ended...

I couldn't do it.
If he could, then he should end it ...

but I cant...

i hate her >:|

Why does everything she do, or say has to be negative?
How come she considers everyone around her as her enemies?
Why is she like this?


I used to call her -my- friend .
but now, everything just turned upside down.

She used to be so sweet.
She used to be someone I love
She used to be someone I look up to.
but now, she's just a complete stranger with a name.



I'll forget everything about you from now on ;
Isabela Carla Bayonas Ros

hello.
exams are over :)) finally ...

okay so uhm, how can i begin?

im no longer single xD
he patched back up with me ytd.
he wanted another chance,
ako naman si tanga, bigay lang ng bigay
kahit hindi pa masyadong handa.

medyo na-trauma ako eh
pero he promised na he wont hurt me na talaga

ngaun kapag sinaktan nya ko ulet
intentionally man o hindi.
i will close my heart na
sasarado ko na ang puso ko.

hanggang maging buo na ule
at maging handa para sa
susunod na guy na may hawak ng susi :D

i wont have any regrets :)

im updating this thing because of you, Carlo.
since you're the only one who cares 'bout this thing hahaha

okay so im single .. again xD
i cant last long in relationships.
it seems like i give a lot , too much...
and when i gave all that i could
the guy is asking for more
but I have nothing more to give because
I've given my all, gets? :))

so umm.. now that im fucking single, whats next? hahaha

oh gosh i completely forgot that i have my exams tomorrow.
but heck, nvm.
I'll screw it anyway, 0:-)
bbye

facebook kills my time. xD

the moment i come home from school, I put down my bag.
open my laptop and log in into my facebook immediately

haha its somehow frustrating to check
all the games, update whatever i need to update
and upload photos.haha

but its all worth it.

i still dont know how to balance my time
especially now that i have lots of projects to do.. grr..



thats it ;)

October 07, 2009 <3

how did we wind up like this.. ?

ang gulo talaga..

one minute we're fine, talking to each other
holding each others hand..
then the next minute, he walks out on me
not looking back when i called him.

its all so frustrating..

i dont know if i could hold on much longer... hindi pa rin kase buo ung pagmamahal.. hindi ko alam kung buo pba ung mabbgay ko..

im getting discouraged even more and more as the days go by.

im trying my best to not let it get to me, but i never thought that it would be this hard...

phew.